ADVICE TO TEACHERS
There are certain things which you cannot discuss
in front of a class of sixth graders. The sperm whale
garners a giggle, whether it is navigating the open
ocean far from the land of the platypus and wombat,
or near icebergs where fairy penguins reside.
Never preface the ornithology section of the book
with, “Class, I would like to give you the bird.”
And do not introduce the spotted redshank on the same
day as the woodcock. Woodpeckers can be touch and go,
particularly the hairy or the red-cockaded. The eastern
wood peewee and the buff-breasted sandpiper will draw
sniggers from the males in the back of the room. Brown
boobies will bring a flush to every female cheek. Chaos
comes when the tufted titmouse is mentioned, especially
if one can be found perched in a pussy willow. Steer clear
of beavers, if possible, and stag beetles completely. Horny
toads are thorny issues, jackasses no easier than the Asiatic
wild ass or the dik-dik. Even chickens can be taboo when
the cocks are Jersey Giants or Rhode Island Reds. Above
all, try to make no reference to anything regarding Uranus.
Steve Meador’s work can be found in many journals, including Boston Literary Magazine, Loch Raven Review, Word Riot, Autumn Sky Poetry, Umbrella, Thick With Conviction, The Writer’s Eye and others. More pieces will appear in various pubs in the coming months. His work has been nominated for a 2007 Best of the Net poetry award and his book, Throwing Percy From The Cherry Tree, won the 2007 D-N Publishing National Book Contest. It will be released in 2008.